Well there it sits...the passion I could hardly wait to create...3,000 typed pages of part of my life...its massive size overwhelms me now...I move it to different locations in the house, trying to find a "home" which seems more fitting to begin. It seemed easy to write those pages, well they were written for me, I just needed to remember/document those 6 years...but somewhere during that time the book changed into another form...ahhhh...like an avatar:) Now I look for help to reconstruct the pages...but I'm the only one who knows...I hate that. Why is it in life all the "tricky" things that you never want to encounter, happen...and they can only be solved alone/by yourself...to get through...to the other side....ugh Oh how I wish for someone to be there to share...oh how I wish...while I still feel the incredible love and hate...while I still cry...before those feelings are gone. For now, just for today/tonite I will use the stack as a small eclectic end table to sit my soda...throw my keys...just for today/tonight. Tomorrow I will look at it again, that 12" stack of pages and it will remind me to break it down to something possible...like that diet I was to start on Monday...many Monday's ago...and it will seem simple and I will delight in my progress...
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